If you’re trying to learn how to overcome binge eating on your own, you must become resourceful enough to manage it. Both physically and emotionally. I will show you some steps you can take to stop binge eating.
How you cause binge eating impulses without you being aware of it.
The foundational key to knowing how to stop binge eating on your own is that the worst enemy. The causes of your binge eating are you. Not what you do, but how you react to it. The way you approach your eating habits and certain things that you do and think are the root cause of your binge eating. By noticing what these things are and changing them, you can lower binge eating impulses.
First, let’s look at why you binge eat. Binge eating or any addictive behavior comes from discomfort with the moment. This discomfort comes in the form of uncomfortable feelings. As those feelings come, we seek quick stimulation to get out of them. These stimulants are quick pleasures. That’s why they’re a big part of markets, most people have not learned how to manage their emotional life. This means that the only reason you may want to do a destructive behavior is that you’re not feeling good about life upfront. Then those feelings give birth to the impulses and urge.
Why do we have this discomfort? Most people believe it comes from external sources, something that happened to them previously. They think it’s not part of their own action, that’s why they can’t know how to stop binge eating on their own. But in reality, it results from our evaluations of things, this is called appraisal theory. Evaluations come in the form of thoughts. What you evaluate stays with you even long before the event has passed, it becomes part of your self-concept. And that influences you to judge or evaluate new events with the same negativity, perpetuating the same negative feelings you want to escape with binge eating, and which you need to stop to cease cravings.
How do you judge yourself
Sometimes the judgments come in the form of beliefs from your past experiences, they form beliefs of the past create uncomfortable emotions in the now. And that causes impulses to binge eating. Other times, the evaluations come from your judgment to the response that you have to uncomfortable emotions. This is the biggest problem, this judgment is what you do afterward, for example, guilt, restriction, self-shame, etc… In those moments, you may not even have the main problem in mind, which was the source of the discomfort you escaped by binge eating. You’re now worried about having wanted to seek pleasure.
Now you become stuck in your own trap because you disempower yourself. The root cause of binge eating is the disempowerment that negative evaluations cause, they deprive you of choice. You become uncomfortable at this moment, you’re adding extra baggage to your mind.
Think it in this way, the better you feel when you’re normal, the less desire to binge you have. And the worst you feel when you’re normal, the more urge you’ll have. And what controls how you feel when you’re normal are the feelings your evaluations and thoughts cause you to feel.
In this type of condition, you cannot be able to stop binge eating on your own because the main cause of binge eating beneath the surface. Now you have negative evaluations about yourself. You create more discomfort and more helplessness because of your response to things you’re not responsible for.
I say that because if you’re not feeling good, is normal to seek escape. And if you only know of binge eating to escape, that’s what you end up doing. But now you know an alternative route free from those behaviors, which is to change your evaluations (which I will show you how more in-depth later). Also, if you engage in destructive behaviors without guilt, you’ll not feel the need to repeat them, that’s one key to stop binge eating on your own. Because as you feel better you solve the problem that was bothering you first, then you don’t need more escape. But if you don’t realize that you’re creating more emotional turmoil from guilt and judgment, then you go into a closed loop of binge eating-guilt.
Think of it this way, your evaluations create negative emotions, for every negative emotion, you will feel an impulse to binge. But if you’re aware, the evaluations go away with time like smoke in the air or dirty water in a river. Your job is to be aware, evaluate things in a better way to not cause disempower yourself and cause yourself to crave things that don’t serve you just because you feel bad and don’t know any better way to feel better.
How to change your negative evaluations.
The way to change our negative evaluations is simple, knowing what they are.
You can’t change them while you’re feeling bad, because evaluations also come from we interpreting things according to how we feel. If we feel fear when we get close to and advertisement about tempting foods, we say we are afraid of food. This is an obstacle to stop binge eating on your own. This causes you to only notice your relationship with food when it’s in bad times. You become identified with the idea thus making it solid. But our relationship to things, in reality, is always fluctuating. The nature of everything is change and fluctuation.
So the job you have to stop binge eating on your own is to notice more the evaluation or thoughts that cause negativity. That will give you the ability to see when it has less impact on your emotions. And when that happens we get those experiences where we are stronger than the impulses into the moments when we’re not. That will cause a vicious circle to collapse.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, It will direct your life and you will call it fate.”Carl G. Jung.
When the thoughts or evaluations are unconscious, they cause us to respond the same way always. So if you have a bad relationship with food, you feel bad about it, and you will keep feeling the same way.
So your job is to write on a journal every thought, evaluations or judgment you have around food. Noticing that they exist, and what the thoughts or beliefs are specifically. Find the source of emotional discomfort. For example, “I’m afraid of becoming so addicted to food that I will gain 100lbs”, or “food is so irresistible that I cannot help but to be a slave to it…”
Notice that these examples exclude every different thought, goal or aspiration that a person can have. They leave nothing of your attention to personal goals or desires, for example, looking good, feeling good, being complimented, etc… The source of the emotion comes from problems only. These examples always exclude desires that may stir person blood, instead, only looks at the impulses that a little life issue has caused. That’s why people stay stuck. If your consciousness and your thoughts are stuck your emotions are stuck, and without emotion, there’s no action.
Action comes from emotion, you need to have a desire that drives you. You may believe you’re not worthy of it because of what you’ve done. But it’s wrong if you made mistakes it’s because you didn’t have desires that excited you.
As you write everything that makes you feel bad, your feelings will change, and you will notice different possibilities.
Things you must stop doing to overcome binge eating by yourself.
We said that your own evaluations, thoughts, and judgment cause binge eating disorders to happen. Being disempowered incites us to do these unhealthy behaviors. By judging ourselves unknowingly, we make the source of disempowerment within us. You can only have cravings and urges to binge when you’re disempowered.
Here are the most common ways binge eaters create this negative judgment, which is the source of the endless loop of the binge cycle.
1. Restricting throughout the day.
Your impulses come from your judgments, without them, there will be no impulses.
The most damaging form of judgment is restriction. When you restrict you’re making food more desirable and you’re making yourself feel bad throughout the day. This backfires strongly usually at night. You begin to feel more disempowered, which means you have no joy and no courage to choose. Also, you have made food gain value by restricting it. This becomes an obvious cocktail for uncontrollable compulsive binge behavior.
You need instead to focus on a vision, don’t take any action until you feel a desire within you. Your job now is to gather as much information about what could stir your blood and get you driven to get.
Then get sensitive to what your emotions tell you, focus your meals on keeping yourself satisfied emotionally and physiologically. As tension comes you would want to eat, become very conscious of that tension, and when it goes away, it’s emotional and it’s the physical part, then you can stop eating. By following this procedure, you’ll have neither disempowerment or lack of will at night, or any type of feelings of deprivation.
2. Mindless eating.
every one of your negative emotions come from thoughts from the past. If you focus on the senses while you’re eating and doing your things, you stop living in your thoughts. Then you leave behind the unconscious thoughts about the past that disempower you. You become empowered and only then you’re able to move toward the outcome you wish.
Binge eating comes from having a memory that associates relief to eating lots of food. Then when you eat, you remember and you feel relief. But both the negative thoughts and the mental association between food and relief come from the past, from engaging in your thoughts. That cannot happen if you are present with your five senses eating, mindful eating. Don’t block those memories or thoughts, you only have to make those memories a present event, you must be aware of them. There’s a huge difference. One is being engaged in them, you almost believe you’re there in the memory, and your emotions are now like they were. The other, the correct way is observing the memory now. That’s how to stop binge eating on your own.
By eating mindfully, you can notice the discomfort of fullness as well, which will stop the “enjoyment” of binge eating much sooner.
3. Judging yourself or any of your impulses.
Judgment is one of the most common causes of binge eating. Every one of our emotions comes from our judgments or evaluations of the experiences, not from things. Experiences come to us as raw data. We can use it to succeed or to fail. Anything that can happen can direct you toward your goals, they can be life-changing lessons, bring awareness, clarify our intentions… But as it gets into the filter of perception, then the experience has the potential to turn against us.
As we said before when you give negative evaluations to things in your life without you being aware, those emotions become persistent and you become disempowered by them. When you’re disempowered, you seek to escape, in the form of binge eating in your example. But if you then judge that, or become guilty of doing it or thinking it. You’re creating a new problem, your guilt becomes a source of negative emotions that disempower you even more. Thus, you get stuck in the binge cycle.
Gain awareness of your negative thoughts
That’s the key distinction that can help you stop binge eating. Since it’s cause it’s something you’re doing, once you know that, you stop giving it so much importance and you can stop it.
You must seek to know your negative evaluations not fight with yourself. When you don’t notice your evaluations, those evaluations become fixed. It looks as if there’s only one rational explanation of the situation. Because when you try to find other meanings, you can’t notice the fact that you look at things through a filter. If you realize the filter, you will have solved the problem. You will no longer suffer cravings to binge eat.
But if after you escape your emotions, you become guilty about it, you’re creating new reasons to feel bad, which will cause you to need to escape even more.
The simple act of writing why you feel bad, and what evaluations are dominating you, will allow them to fade in time. Notice them now, don’t look at how your body feels and act according to it. Your body is composed of sensations that sometimes influence you subliminally, notice the sensations. Those sensations also come from unconscious evaluations that you must notice and leave. Doing this with every feeling will cease them.
4. Forcing yourself to not think about food.
Thoughts control our emotions and behaviors, it’s true. But you want to think in a more disciplined way and healthy may become spoiled by resistance to its opposite. What do I mean by that, if you want to stop thinking about food, that desire comes from a place of not having that and wanting to escape what you now have? Then our states are never strong enough to bypass the challenge.
Then we fail, and then we remember our failures our next, we try we’re even less effective, thus get stuck in a cycle of food thoughts and binge eating. It’s the same process that caused binge eating first.
But as I said before your job is to notice the thoughts, that make them stop renewing themselves without you knowing it. A thought you’re aware of can’t dominate you. By being aware of how the desire fluctuates, the desire becomes weaker each time. That’s how you change your thoughts. By realizing that nothing lasts forever and you allow this law to do its job while you relax and forget about it.
The only thing that keeps you repeating the same unintended result more than once is unconscious evaluations. Know them and you’ll gain control over them.
5. Having an attitude and expectation of failure because of the past.
Life is cyclical, states of mind fluctuate. But why you always have the same feelings about food? Because we are not aware of the fluctuations and when our attention turns into the thing it evaluates it the same negative way than always. When are unaware, seems like you feel the same way constantly and that you need an overwhelming amount of effort to get out. But you don’t, things always change, and they change alone. You need to step away and notice the thought to follow it. And see how it fades.
Have you ever thought you are free from binge eating and feel it in your heart? Never, because you notice only when you’re stuck, not when you not. You don’t have this problem 24 hours of the day, you may only eat more than you would like at night, and you may have big binges 1 or 2 times a week. Noticing the moments when you don’t is the key to change.
Then if you want to change your thoughts, you will feel negative, which digs you into the hole even more.
The key is knowing the cyclical nature of our states of mind and our biochemistry. Only then do you notice moments when we feel less dominated, and then we can evaluate ourselves differently. We can decide what to be without the sensations of our body preventing us from realizing that.
Your problems stand from the thing you’re doing in response to what is happening. It’s not what happens or even what you do, but your response to it. Your response will dictate whether that will continue or it will stop. You may don’t have direct control over your emotions now, but your emotions, like everything on earth, are cyclical. They’re subject to constant fluctuation. So by becoming conscious of your unconscious negative thoughts, evaluations, and judgments, you gain the ability to become conscious of them when they’re weak and they don’t have control over you. And as you gain awareness of them in their low moments, you have the power to change them. This goes for every thought or circumstance in your life, even your personal traits, likes, and dislikes.
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